The Other F Word: punk rock dads rule

Ron Reyes and daughter

Ron Reyes and daughter Jasmine at Zulu records in Vancouver, looking at the Black Flag "Jealous Again"album. From "The Other F Word" documentary

If you’ve never rebelled against authority, against your parents, against the status quo or simply never rebelled, then read no further because in all likelihood you won’t understand the conflicts that follow.

Andrea Blaugrund Nevins’ insightful, profane and poignant documentary The Other F Word adds a new dimension to the collision course of the “rage against the machine” and family responsibility. Whether the protest was against Vietnam or Wall Street, whether we were going to make the world a better place or just tear down the establishment, the passion of youth inevitably runs smack into the wall of adulthood (which isn’t always the same thing as maturity). Nowhere is this conflict more complex than when the very musicians who expressed this angst confront these issues themselves.

Nevins’ original idea for the film was inspired by the rather schizoid existence lived by punk rock legend and Hermosa Beach resident Jim Lindberg, former lead singer of Pennywise. The path diverged when Nevins discovered that Lindberg’s situation – the punk rock rebel now approaching middle age with young children to support and nurture – was not so unique. Indeed, as the subtitle to this film explains, this is “a coming of middle age story,” underscored by a glimpse at what Lindberg takes with him on tour – hair dye and hand sanitizer. This, he acknowledges, is no life for a forty-something dad with kids (and a supportive wife) who need him at home. [See Lindberg’s interview with Ron Reyes]

Opening with Against Me’s “I Was A Teenage Anarchist” (“looking for revolution”), the today version of Jim Lindberg is in sharp contrast to those lyrics. Punk rock was about no responsibility, going against the rules, doing things your way, and it still is. But as the audience grew younger, the bands grew grayer and their nihilism grew ambivalent. Pennywise’s anthem of F*** Authority rings slightly less true for the punk dads.

Besides Lindberg, The Other F Word profiles Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Mark Hoppus of Blink 182, Tim McIlrath of Rise Against, Lars Fredriksen and Matthew McCall Freeman of Rancid, Ron Reyes, former lead singer of Black Flag (another South Bay punk legend), Art Alexakis of Everclear, Michael John Burkett aka Fat Mike of NOFX, Brett Gurewitz of Bad Religion and founder of Epitaph Records, and other punk musicians as well as Tony Hawk, the world’s premier bad boy skateboarder, now a very wealthy upper-middle class San Diego dad with a skateboard arena in his back yard.

As Gurewitz states at the outset, “There’s nothing in the punk rock ethos that prepares you for being a dad.” This is especially true as most of these men grew up without a reliable or present father figure. But these punk rock bastions of the screw-you mentality are determined to break that cycle and be role models for their children – responsible parents who, contrary to the lyrics of their songs, will make rules and set boundaries for their own children. Juxtaposed throughout are images of these men in their roles of gentle, loving fathers against clips of their screaming, raucous, expletive-laced musical performances.

Growing up, all the musicians described themselves as misfits who found a place to fit in within the punk scene, a place where the outcasts were no longer cast out. Lindberg’s Hermosa Beach became a hot bed of punk culture where three of the seminal hardcore bands originated – Black Flag, Circle Jerks and Descendents. The anthem they lived was “I don’t care what you think.” But echoing Gurewitz, Lindberg asks, “How did we go from rebelling against our own parents to become parents ourselves?”

Filled with images of tough guy punkers teaching the mundane everyday lessons common to us all, we see Lindberg leading his girls on their bikes through crosswalks; watch Fat Mike choose the perfect pink dress (hearts and skulls) for his daughter before loading her into her car seat in the family van to go to private school; listen to McIlrath talk about setting language boundaries (eliminating the “f” word from the vocabulary) at home; see Adolescent plant tomato seeds with his son; and watch Flea playing a Mozart duet on the piano with Clara.

Nevins also gives us the perspective of some of the children. Anna, daughter of Jack Grisham of TSOL, recalls the day her father arrived at her school as a volunteer parent wearing a “F*** the Police” tee shirt. And then there is Clara, Flea’s daughter, who tells of the day when she was 12 years old in ballet class and her father, in bondage pants and a Mohawk, waited for her in the hall outside class, precipitating a crisis with the other students who freaked out about the weirdo in the hall. As their teacher warned the students to stay in the classroom, Clara looked out and thought, “Oh ****, it’s my dad.”

But with the responsibility of parenthood comes the reality that someone has to pay to maintain the family, and therein lays a major conflict – because the punk rock lifestyle is counterintuitive to a stable family life. Touring is the only way to maintain financial stability for working-class bands; but touring takes these fathers away from their families. Missing milestones for Lindberg was the tipping point and factor in his decision to leave Pennywise, a decision that upset his other family and the members of the band, who could no longer function without a lead singer. Priorities – another factor in parenthood.

These men have experienced the joy of birth, and in some cases the pain and sorrow of the premature death of a child. The emotions are raw and real. And as Alexakis says, “You don’t take risks or gamble with your children. I’m raising my kid the way I wish I had been raised. I think that’s what we’re all doing.” And yes, I think that’s what we’re all doing, or at least trying to do. A lesson learned from a punk rock dad.

Just when you thought parenthood had been done to death, Nevins has come along with an entirely fresh perspective reiterating the common wisdom from a completely different angle. The production values are top notch, the music is both straight ahead and ironic, and the cinematography is almost claustrophobic in the way it follows its subjects. Special mention should also go to the use of graphics and titles throughout the film. This is a world class film that has the power to change your point of view; you will surely be moved. Go see it and don’t wait because it’s scheduled for one week only beginning Nov. 4 at the NuArt in West L.A. ER

Comments:

comments so far. Comments posted to EasyReaderNews.com may be reprinted in the Easy Reader print edition, which is published each Thursday.