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Handyman's Vintage
Ludicrous speed-- Crossing guard Jim Comb's top fuel drag bike
Riders of lightweight, ultra high performance "sport" motorcycles exercise a small area of the brain that the average rider or driver never uses. When the rider's right hand opens the throttle the brain must calculate a series of speed/time/distance and hand/eye/foot equations at breathtaking speeds. Those of us who have engaged in this activity are aware that few things in life focus one's undivided attention more intensely.
"Sport" bikes make 125 hp or more and typically weigh about 600 pounds, including rider. This translates to a power to weight (P/W) ratio of about five pounds per hp. For reference, the fastest stock Corvettes have a P/W ratio of 8 or 9 to 1.
Now, consider John Comb's replica of a Top Fuel drag racing bike. John's toy, loosely based on a 1980 Kawasaki (police) motorcycle makes 501 hp and has an all-up weight of about 800 pounds, that is a P/W of 1.6 to 1. Moreover, this awesome looking machine is street legal.
You might expect to find him at the local drag strip, but John is just a little different, he rides the beast to work as a crossing guard at Hermosa Valley School.
John was an accomplished machinist/fabricator and the Crew Chief for "Bad Thad Racing," a team that ran on the Pro Star drag racing circuit, and ran a bike of his own. At the peak of his career he was running in the Top Fuel class. The word "fuel" in this case means a mixture of nitro methane --"nitro" is to gasoline what dynamite is to a firecracker.
John told me that the best of these rigs make 1200 hp, 500 foot pounds of torque and weigh about 800 pounds all-up. Friends, that's a P/W of .42 to 1, or 1.5 hp per pound. A ratio like that results in acceleration of 0 to 240 mph in 6 sec.
According to John, the six seconds it takes to get to 240 mph is pretty intense.
As soon as the bike launches, you are pulling 5g for about 60 feet, than 3g to the end, John said. The G force is so severe that you get a huge adrenaline surge in the arms and chest. The pressure on the rider's head causes his vision to narrow until it is like looking through a small tunnel. At the finish line, the parachute is deployed to slow the bike to a point where the brakes can be effective. When the reverse G force from the chute hits the rider, the adrenaline rushes from his body to his head, blurs his vision even further and gives him a feeling of traveling at a speed much slower than his actual velocity. This is nearly as dangerous as the speed run itself. Sounds like a lot of fun buddy.
As no one without a Ph.D. in English was able to describe what is faster than "really, really, really fast" without using four-letter words, the motoring press were forced to invent the term "hyperspeed" to describe the capabilities of "sport" bikes. So if "hyperspeed" is correct for "sport" bikes, what would be the proper term for the level of speed John described?
In 1993 John suffered a debilitating industrial accident, followed by a stroke, followed by the onset of very high blood pressure. Due to his poor health and commitment to helping children, he began working as a crossing guard.
But the question remains, why would a guy with high blood pressure ride a 500 hp motorcycle?
The answer is that he detuned it to 60 hp. But he recognizes the impact it has on kids when they see it and is hoping the bike will help him get a position in the DARE program.
As a final thought, to assist drivers of world class racing equipment in talking about their speeds, I propose a contest to invent a phrase that surpasses "hyperspeed". The winner would have the honor of knowing that he/she came up with the next hot motorsports phrase.
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If you have an interesting vintage machine, (car, boat, motorcycle or airplane) or know someone who does, please email a brief description to khandman@gte.net